The evening portion of the Gilda’s Toronto Annual Golf Tournament this past July ended with a speech by Nolan Murphy, who shared how he found support at Gilda’s Toronto. He was so articulate and engaging, you could hear a pin drop. His energy was infectious. Nolan reminded us why we were all there.

My mom died on June 14, 2019, when I was 14 years old. Losing a parent at such a young age is something that nobody can prepare you for.

I remember back in elementary school, one of my classmates spoke about how her dad had died from brain cancer. I had thought to myself that this is horrible, but it isn’t something that could happen to me; it’s not something I need to worry about.

When you’re young, your parents are kind of invincible in your eyes; they’re strong, and it’s hard to imagine them being hurt or sick. You can then imagine how difficult it was to comprehend when my once invincible mother was diagnosed with cancer, which at the time I didn’t know was terminal.

I wasn’t given any time to adjust. The cancer moved quickly, and I witnessed my mom’s rapid decline and death barely two months after the diagnosis.

Something previously unthinkable came true, and it was too quick for me to even process.

In times of grief and loss, your world stops spinning. Trying to go outside, hang out with friends, or do any work is so difficult because the world doesn’t stop for you. It’s like trying to get onto a treadmill running at full speed. It was especially hard to find people to talk to outside of my family. My friends tried their best to be understanding, but there was a disconnect. It felt like I was that classmate speaking to myself back in elementary school. It felt like even though they tried to fit in my shoes, they didn’t know what it felt like to walk in them.

Luckily, through my sister, I was able to connect with Gilda’s Toronto teen support group. Starting with a summer camp and eventually transferring to a weekly support group, I was able to connect with other teens who had been touched by cancer, a group of kids who understood the nuances of having someone close to you with cancer.

The constant trips to hospitals; seeing your loved ones stressed and a shell of themselves after procedures you wouldn’t need to know the name of unless you were in medical school; the struggle for control; and ultimately the feeling of helplessness against what seems like an unstoppable force.

It was so much easier to open up, to share, when the people around me had felt the same things as me. It was a supportive group, which helped people be who they wanted to be and become who they were hoping to be.

By opening up and sharing at Gilda’s Toronto, I felt that treadmill slow down just enough that I was able to jump back on and start walking again.

Thank you to all those who came out to support the Gilda’s Toronto Annual Golf Tournament at Eagles Nest Golf Club on July 22, 2025. We raised $65,000 for our cancer support services.