Cheryl Manore has been volunteering at Gilda’s Toronto for 4 years. She spoke with a member of Gilda’s Toronto staff recently about why she started to help and what keeps her going.

What got you involved with Gilda’s Toronto?

In August 2019, my daughter Erin discovered that she had cancer in her bile duct. It was a carcinoma of unknown primary, so it couldn’t be treated. When Erin and her husband Jeff got her diagnosis, Erin insisted that Jeff start going to Gilda’s Toronto because he was going to need help – we all knew that Erin wasn’t going to have a positive outcome. Erin really wanted him to meet other caregivers and, later, to receive bereavement support.

My grandson Emerson had just turned three in July. When Emerson woke in the morning, and I was there, he knew that his mom was at the hospital. On October 9th, Erin got sepsis and died. Emerson wouldn’t come near me or hug me for a while. He associated her being gone with me being at his home, but he eventually got over that.

Some of my friends said, Jeff’s got to figure this out sometime, but I said no. The day they said Erin wouldn’t make it through the night, I told Jeff he was not going to face this on his own, that we would be here for anything that he needed.

That must have been a very difficult time for you.

Yes, but I was focused on Jeff and Emerson. I’d already seen how Jeff benefited from Gilda’s Toronto, so I insisted he continue to go. He met several single parents and since it was COVID, they met outside in the playground with their kids. He stayed in touch with Gilda’s Toronto for a long time.

What motivated you to become a volunteer?

I retired in May of 2020. I said to myself that I was going to volunteer at Gilda’s Toronto because I wanted everybody to have the opportunity to have access to the resources. I truly believe that Gilda’s Toronto has helped my son-in-law and grandson be their best selves.

I make sure to be available every time they put together the kits used for our family and child programs. I know how much fun Emerson had when he received his boxes.

I like that my volunteer time can be monetized by an activity that involves Gilda’s Toronto receiving donations and visibility by my presence at the Kennedy Bingo Hall.

When people ask me why I volunteer, I say I want to pay it forward. I’m not sure how Jeff and Emerson would have survived without the support that they got.

What effect has volunteering had on you?

It gives me a great deal of satisfaction knowing that I can help another family through what we went through. I wanted to help because Gilda’s Toronto helped Jeff, but then when I started to see what was going on, it made me want to stay involved and see what else I could do. I’m a bit shy, and it’s brought me out of my shell because now I talk to people and I’m feeling much more comfortable.

It sounds like you understand Gilda’s Toronto’s mission.

I learned so much. Jeff told my husband and me things he had learned, such as  “don’t say your phone died, say it doesn’t have any power because a kid might think, ‘ Why can’t we just recharge mom and bring her back?”

What else do you do as a volunteer?

I help at the family events. I once met a father with two children. I tried to chat with them but they were very quiet and weren’t saying much. At the summer picnic, I saw the family again. Now the dad was talking to the other parents, and they’d set up a badminton net. His kids were playing with other kids. I saw an amazing difference in six months.

One little boy asked me, ‘Who died in your family and is that why you’re here?’ I think it’s important for kids to know that they’re not the only ones with these experiences. I think it helps them move forward.

Anybody can write a cheque, but if you can provide valuable time out of your life, you can accomplish great things, which Gilda’s Toronto does all the time.

I think what Emerson, my son-in-law, husband, and I got from Gilda’s Toronto helps us to still talk about Erin quite naturally. In March, our family still celebrate her birthday.

Gilda’s Toronto would not be able to provide all of our programs without our amazing volunteers. Visit our volunteer page and learn how you too can get involved.